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That 1st Lonely Dosage

Adjusting to adulthood has been one of the most challenging aspects of life. It’s so difficult transitioning from a student into a true grown up especially while feeling depressed & empty. As a college grad, I’m already stressing like crazy not being able to find a good job or get into the field of writing. Then a year later me & my ex break up (after 5 years)…& then I start messing with one after her for an additional 10 months.

It’s my 1st time sleeping alone, not asking her what you want to eat, not having anyone to talk to or none of that shit...since 2012. I felt like a newborn just learning how to walk in the crawling stages. I spent days in the dark, staring at the wall, hating myself & feeling worthless. I never got to the point of suicidal thoughts & you shouldn’t either. Killing yourself is NEVER the answer especially in an instance where you can wade it out & the feelings will fade away. If you ever begin having those thoughts, please reach out & I will get to you ASAP.

My beginning stage of loneliness was unbearable & grueling, however, it exposed me to the truth. I had an epiphany & realized something about myself. I’m too dependent. It took some months to realize after my ex, but it hit home a few months after the rebound. I asked myself these questions:

  • Did my happiness rely on someone else?

  • Does someone else determine my value & worth?

  • Am I really this dependent?

  • Why am I so hurt?

  • Have I ever been content individually?

Once I evaluated myself & answered these questions, a spark went off. It was quite refreshing & it made me understand the truth about myself. Life started improving once doing so & I assure it’ll change for you.

I’m going to stop here, but I want you to answer these questions above. Take the time to really look at yourself & the realization will appear naturally. Next week I’ll elaborate on my journey; but ‘til then kick ass, stay blessed & be great. Contact me if you need any help.

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